me in a pet store: i’d like to speak with your manager
cashier: what’s the problem?
me: you have ratatollie over there in a cage with no equipment… nothing to cook… you think these are fair living conditions? he lives to cook
👀👀 not gonna name names but SOME of u are sweet and kind and deserve the world and i am rooting for u
i love people who get excited about stars
I’m a hopeless bromantic, high five me in the rain, fistbump me gently as the sun sets.
my wife in twenty years, picking flowers along a mountain trail: what’s on your mind, babe
me: oh nothing. it’s just that this is…
my wife: just like in skyrim? :)
me, wiping a tear from my eye: just like in skyrim.
miles: anyone can wear the mask!
my adult ass in a theater full of children:
out of boredom i decided to scan a stuffed shark. here are the results.